Have you ever wondered if your buds are dragging you down?
Do you find yourself in the middle of a “pity-party” or bitching session frequently?
Perhaps you’ve discovered that you’re losing a lot of time and you’re not actively pursuing your goals.
Let’s just call it out:
The problem is you’ve chosen the wrong people to have as friends.
There are two reasons why this is an issue.
If you hang out with people that have no passion or drive to succeed, you’ll get pulled down to their level ― and that level can be “loser-land”.
The other reason is they are time wasters.
If you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd, you’re usually wasting it. Time is the most valuable resource you have because you only get so much of it; once you’ve spent it there’s no way to get it back.
Hey, I’m not pointing the finger at your friends. You’re the problem because YOU CHOSE TO BE WITH THEM.
Success has a price. Sometimes you have to give up your creature comforts to get what you want in life. That’s just the way it is.
You need to have friends that support your dreams and goals and give you space when you need it.
Warrior, in this post, we’re going to look at ways you can weed out negative, time-wasting people from your life. We’ll show you how to develop meaningful relationships with people; the kinds that will help you find the success you’ve always wanted.
How Dare You Have an Elitist Mentality!
I know what you’re thinking. How dare he suggest such a thing? It sounds to me like he has an elitist mentality.
Yep, I do.
I’m not talking about race, creed, gender, or anything a person is born with. I’m talking about what they’re doing and where they’re going.
Reflect back on your life for a second. How many times do you remember people who hung out with the “in-crowd”? They just couldn’t function unless they were with a group of friends.
Years later, their friends aren’t so great. They’re dragging their tired asses through the rat-race and all their pals have split. They wouldn’t even recognize each other anymore.
And worse than that, they wasted scads of time and money with them.
Play Misty for Me…
Sometimes, wrong relationships can be dangerous.
Early in his career, Clint Eastwood made a great movie called, “Play Misty for Me”. It was about a disc-jockey that liked to pick up women at a local bar for a one-night stand.
Even though this guy already had a gorgeous girlfriend, he had to have more women to support his ego. So he was sleeping around having a good time…until he played this game one too many times.
He took home a woman that was a full-blown psycho.
Before you know it, his entire was consumed with this chick; she attached herself to him like a leach. Everywhere he went, she’d show up jealous of anyone that looked at him.
His entire career gets derailed by this woman, and by the end of the movie, they’re trying to kill each other.
Do you think this doesn’t happen in real life?
Most screenwriters and directors will tell you their ideas come from the news. Watch shows like Dateline, or 20/20 and you’ll see what I mean. They’re loaded with tales of relationships that have gone wrong.
Usually, these are extreme examples. But think for a second, do you know someone that’s in a relationship that’s killing them?
So, whether you like it or not, your life isn’t a vacuum; it will reflect the type of people you’re hanging with. If you’re going to have a successful and productive life, you need the right people on your side.
It’s Not All About You
This isn’t about how people can help you in life; most of it will be about your ability to help others. You need to develop the mindset that you’re trying to help your friends.
So, it’s not all about you.
Giving of your time and talents not only helps others – it will develop your character as well.
Studies conducted by the National Institutes of Health show there are significant benefits from helping others. Researchers found people who helped others were happier and healthier than people who did not.
Also, good relationships revolve around sacrificing for each other, too.
On the battlefield, soldiers will live and die for each other. History books are filled with tales of men that died for their friends in battle. The bond between soldiers can be so great the sacrifice is automatic.
In any tight-knit family, husbands and wives will work tough jobs to make sure their kids have a future. The result can be a family tied together by very strong bonds.
And it’s the same in business.
If your partners and employees know you’ll do everything to help them become a success, you’ll have nurtured great relationships. They will become loyal friends that will help you build your business.
Warrior Action Step #1 -Take Stock of Your Team
You now know that making great relationships requires self-sacrifice.
Yet, you still need to weed out the people that drag you down and drive your productivity into the dirt.
Let’s face it if you hang out with negative people you’re going to get a negative attitude. Not only that, but other power-players will notice the losers you’re hanging out with and flee from you.
That is an opportunity killer, and you’ll look like a loser too.
A good way to think about finding the right people is to think of building your own team. If you have to win an important game, (which your professional life really is) you need to pick winners.
Ask Yourself a Few Questions
Good friendships and business relations are very important to your success system. You’ll need them to support, encourage and challenge you.
Here’s a few quality-questions you need to ask about your relationships:
- Are they skilled? Do they have a particular skill that you can access and learn from that’s relative to your mission? If they do, you’ll want to learn as much as you can from them.
- Do they have a passion for what they do? Are they trying to become something greater or are they just bouncing through life? Successful people surround themselves with movers and shakers. They develop beneficial relationships that they can mold themselves after.
- What’s their work ethic like? Are they willing to put a serious amount of time into their passion? People that are success-driven don’t need to be pushed; they have their own drive that’s unstoppable.
- Do my team members possess courage? Cowardly people can be very unstable. When it comes to the rubber meeting the road, will they stand by your or will they shrink back?
You need people on your team that is convicted in what they believe.
When the founding fathers of America wrote the Declaration of Independence, they were committed. Only one-third of Americans at that time wanted to break off with Great Britain. This small group of men stood up to the world’s super-power and said, “We are finished with your tyranny.”
Because of the conviction of those men, one of the greatest and most free countries ever to exist was born. You need to have people on your team that have guts and determination to stick to what they know is right.
- Do you genuinely like them? You need an honest relationship with your crew. If you’re a phony it’ll come across.
Do you appreciate it when you see someone kissing the boss’s butt to get his approval? There’s nothing more phony or shallow than a person who sucks up just to get ahead. You see people like this in all walks of life.
They’ll grin ear to ear and leap out of their chairs to hang out when power players come into a room. As far as they’re concerned, everyone else can suck wind and die. These people can be so pathetic they can make you puke. You want to ditch them as quickly as possible because their love for you and everyone else is superficial.
You shouldn’t act like this and you don’t want jerks on your team that acts that way either.
Real, caring team members will tell you where you’re going wrong. You need them to give you honest feedback.
Warrior Action Step #2 – Drain the Negativity Pool
The world is loaded with negativity.
Any successful man or woman will tell you to turn off news programs. That’s because those programs focus on negative, distressing news reports.
One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to turn this junk off.
The same thing goes for people. It’s very easy to find friends and co-workers that have a bad attitude who hate their leadership and their jobs.
You must flee from these individuals.
I’m not saying that you should ignore people who need a friend when things go wrong in life; you should try to help out others in need. But you and I know that hanging out with people who push their negative crap on you can be dangerous.
They will spew out all sorts of garbage at you because it’s entertaining. They love to gossip and whine about how life sucks for them. They’ll also find other team members in your court to drag down.
And here’s a hard truth, warrior: The reason they’re hanging around you is that you have something in common. You’ve had a mutual moaning session about how your bosses, job, or friends suck.
Your mind is absorbing a ton of negativity that’s killing your focus.
Also, there are other ears in the room.
Team leaders, coworkers, and people you know will hear the negative junk and associate it with you. It could damage great business relationships and opportunities you have on the horizon.
They will hinder your productivity and sooner or later, you’ll develop the same attitude. Hell, it can even impact your mental health. Stay away from them!
Warrior Action Step #3 – Nurture the Right Relationships
Once you’ve weeded out your team and selected the best and brightest, you need to nurture them.
Spend some time discussing your dreams and goals with them. Instead of just having a few brewskies, sit down and talk shop about where you want your life to go.
You’ll be amazed at the ideas and plans that can come out of a relaxed session. You’ll also bond with these success-driven people, which will help you and them tremendously.
Also, you need to spend time with the people that mean the most to you. It doesn’t make any sense to ignore people that you love.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to put your family and close friends on the back burner.
If you have to, schedule time on a calendar to be with them.
I know a guy that flies across the country a lot. Many times, he’s on a flight where he’s sat next to very successful people.
One thing he’s heard over and over again as they wished they had spent more time with their families. None of them said that they wished they had spent more time on their businesses.
Conclusion
Listen, Warrior, much of your success comes from who you’re hanging around with. You need to take charge of your relationships and surround yourself with the best people.
It’s not always easy to do so. You may have to let go of people that you have become close with.
I realize you’re not throwing away a piece of toilet paper; it’s a human being. But if these people are hindering your productivity and progress…ditch them. It’s not the way you want it, but if they’re wrecking your dream, you need to move on.
We’ve given you some food for thought. Building a team of friends that will push you down the road to success isn’t an exact science, but you will have many joys to experience if you do it right.
Here’s a quote to keep in mind as you go through this emotional territory:
“Letting go of negative people doesn’t mean that you hate them…
It just means that you love yourself.”
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Thanks!
~Chris
